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| in your life. and why they were put there?
I need to learn the language of letting go, because it's so fucking hard.
I never want to give up on someone but sometimes you just have to for your own good.
getting on this shit for the first time in a while b/c mika asked me to find her old username..
i read some shit about stuff i thought i was getting over but it still makes all the same emotions come back.
he just doesn't understand what he did.
I felt so BETRAYED.
how could someone say one thing and then go do the other? i thought it all meant something..
confusion.
he needs to be happy and he can't be happy dating me i know that.
but he's just so stupid with this ho.
i KNOW she doesn't give a fuck. this girl is a fucking textbook loser..
i think he is letting his body take over his mind and heart.
we all know that it feels good to have someone sometimes but love comes a fucking gain.
geez. i cna't stand to watch him be all sad about her.
i swear im done trying to give him advice, i've gotten so many rude commetns back from him, he obviously doesn't want to hear it.
at first when i talk like this i feel embarrassed because i want to not stress out for him, but im so used to it. i just care wayyy too much..
god will fill my heart with something else i just know it.
I miss having my joey to myself, idk wat it was i just felt like i could die right there when i was with him. and i know that it all didn't happen for no reason.
"Don't let someone grow into your heart like a vine until you realized they're no weed."
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| Omg its been for freakin ever.
I almost forgot xanga still existed.
so much crap has gone on.
I stopped partying as much.
(although i do party..a lot, just good partying ;] )
I raised all my grades.
All A's and 2 B's.
I've been working out, a lot.
Gotten pretty far with that.
*flexes*
hahaa.
I turn 16 in like 7 days.
I got a job at Wild West World (<---HAHA)
how about you?
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| do you guys remember this?
i don't think you do
i posted it like a loong time ago
like at the end of freshman year kinda into the summer.
READ.I AM DONE WITH YOU.
for the first time in 2 years i can finally say this.
i am done with you.
get
ready, this is gonna be a long post. You know, you grow up with these
people that you think you have allllll fuckin figured out , but you
don't. They go and stab you in the back. Im tired. Im too old for this
shit. I think i might go into hibernation and come back WHEN YOU ALL
ARE DONE "CHANGING". and finding your "innerself". Because I found me a
long time ago. And i hate when you see someones xanga that lives in a
different city than you do and you realize, "damn , their life is so
much better than mine". because it is, but it isn't at the same time.
Most of you don't know what im talking about but I have a lot of life
exsperience. I've been friends with a lot of people, fucked over a lot
of people, and loved a lot of people. But none of those amount to the
love I had for one girl. But i guess she didn't realize how special
that was. because its about gone. I thought that there was only one
person out there for me , but i guess there isn't. THANKS GOD. fuck.
and most of you are thinking "he must be really drunk right now." but
im not. im just really tired of life in general. but hey mabye tomorrow
i'll delete this post and realize something different. like mabye i
should be thankful that i have a loving family [not] and loving
friends. and loving pieces of SHIT on the ground. hahahah. i've gone
psycho.
OH, wait its not freakin done yet. What ever happend
to all my old friends. and all that, "we'd be together forever shit".
you guys are some crazy mofos now. thats why i don't hang out with you
anymore. like Sara White: you change like everday. When i look at you I
see some good times. I see lots of growing and it makes me smile. mabye
thats why even though we don't like each other i purpousley go
somewhere that you are just to see you and see how much you've grown
up. its like your my child.
and Dan Molgaard: now this is a
different story. You made me laugh for a good 5 years. and you were a
mediocre friend. till the end. you started talking shit behind my back,
alot. i'd get phone calls of people warning me that you were talking
about me and i would friendly shake it off. but how can you be
friends with someone that is constantly putting you down. you can't.
and now your moving away. and what i don't get is why it makes me sad.
it makes me really sad.
and Kelsay Leah Ana Foust: You were THE most
desperate, kind, smart girl i knew. You just need to let up a little
god. i don't hate you. i never did. i don't have enough energy to
freakin HATE ALL THESE PEOPLE. thats why i just blank them out of my
life. and i would go on and on about some other people but i won't even
go there because i've been up for the past 2 days without sleep.
OH
and i drink. BIG DEAL. people have been drinking since they they
fucking discovered it like a million years ago. I drink because its
fun, because life is akward, because i have problems, because im an
asshole. and a damn good lookin asshole. I guess i'll just keep livin
life. and who knows i'll probably end up in the same place writing an
EXZANGA post about about the same crap.
until then.
mike.
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|
 
its grown out a lot.
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| i quit smoking its been 2 days | | |
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